The Biz Cache

Pre-suasion is a guide to those seeking persuasive influence on how to effectively establish an environment, foster relationships, and create situations where agreement will come easily. Dr. Cialdini tells us, using examples and research, how we can maximize our privileged moments, cultivate ‘we-ness’, and boost our likeability. The book not only included valuable tactics but also the proof and research to back up the claims.
The concept of privileged moments is echoed throughout the book and introduced early on in chapter 2 as “…points in time when an individual is particularly receptive to a communicator’s message” (Cialdini 14). Cialdini offers many methods to plan how we use these moments in a way that will make the audience more receptive to the persuader’s vision.

When dealing with angry clients, I lead off by complimenting them instead of apologizing. “Thank you for your patience.” is received more highly than “I’m sorry about the wait.” The difference between the two statements is a focus on the person and a compliment. Of course, the apology should still come later if warranted, but the compliment can make the client feel better because we are seeing them and recognizing their superiority or good qualities. In addition to the self, the reason communicating in this way is more effective was described in chapter 7. By complimenting the person first, with a trait that is helpful to me in my conversation, they believe that they are a patient person. Since they are a patient person, they will be more likely to act in a way that mimics that quality for our conversation. Compliments are also one of the ‘Six Main Roads to Change’ as described in chapter 10. We can see through experience and with Cialdini’s three examples in this section, that flattery works to make others feel good.

One of my favorite methods in the book was the magnetizer of the self. Salespeople who want to achieve success can leverage this pre-suasive technique to focus a client’s attention. In a past job, I had to contact existing clients to sell products and services. I found that focusing on the individual made the recipient of the call more receptive. “When I learned of this- I thought of you because I thought you might benefit from it.” I was always amazed at how much my wording changed the receptiveness of my clients as opposed to “I’m calling to tell you that we have a special…”. In this example, I’m making the call about them and how I can help move their goals forward instead of about the product I can offer.

Unity is another concept that I see echoed in my daily experiences of persuasion and in observations of the persuasive relationships to which I’m an outsider. Leaders can enhance their effectiveness by using notions such as liking and solidarity. They can pre-suasively create situations where they act in unison with their team. The leaders who spend more time on these activities seem to be most successful when their teams need to work together to achieve goals. Unity is a pre-suasive activity that can take more time than some of the other concepts. We need to incorporate elements of unity such as co-creation, reciprocal exchange, and acting together throughout our relationships and to be authentic while we do so. Cialdini summed up the chapters on unity stating, “I believe that procedures that establish a pre-suasive feeling of unity establish a context for desirable change.” (208) The context for desirable change is a powerful tool.

Throughout the book, I found many concepts that I’d like to incorporate more often into my life and career. Chapter 8 discusses how an environment can act as a pre-suader for desired activities. I can relate to Cialdini’s story regarding writing his book in different locations and having different writing styles. I find that I’m more productive or that certain tasks come easier in certain locations. One example from my life is working on my departments’ schedules. I struggle to complete this task in my office. I have so many queues in my office that brings me to focus on today rather than next week or next month. However, when I’m on the go or at home, I can easily focus my attention on the schedule. Part of this might be distractions, but I think another part may be that when I’m in my office I’m primed to be concerned about what is going on in the moment. I have an easier time planning and thinking creatively when I step away from that environment. When I’m on the go, my mind is already thinking about the future.

Cialdini mentions that “In any situation, people are dramatically more likely to pay attention to and be influenced by stimuli that fit the goal they have for that situation.” (69) I’ve been slowly remodeling my home. While I design my spaces, I want to be more cognizant of this pre-suading factor. I would like to make my kitchen have features that make me more likely to cook at home. My bedroom should be designed as a place of rest by limiting distractions. My home gym space to be a place I’d like to spend time.

Chapter 8 also discusses the positivity paradox. Desiring emotional contentment isn’t something that needs to wait until old age. Mindfulness when stressed could help shift my thinking into more positive patterns. Breaking habits will also be a step I take more often. That will include reminding myself to focus on what I can do vs. what I can’t do. I’ve already started this by self-evaluating myself at the end of each week and writing a reminder to myself for the next week on bad mental habits to break.

Overall, there were so many insights that Cialdini has presented in this book. I’d recommend this book to anyone looking to change their behaviors to get more success, anyone in sales, and anyone looking to improve their life through pre-suasion.

Cialdini, Robert B. Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way to Influence and Persuade. Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, 2018.